The Lonely Goatherd Blog And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats - Matthew 25:32
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All original content on MoreThings.com copyright 2008 Albert Barger or the respective authors
September 30, 2002
Just watching the Torch burn: Delicious pleasure Schadenfreude? Who me? Mmm, wonderful exhilirating schadenfreude for soon to be former US Senator Robert Torricelli. I for one haven't laughed so hard recently as while watching his September 30 news conference announcing that he was dropping his re-election bid.
Do I feel bad about this enjoyment? No I do not. Brother, you asked for it. He had his downfall coming to him - what a sleazeball. The ethics violations did him in. Most specifically, beyond everything else, anybody playing footsie with someone representing interests of the North Korean government deserves whatever befalls them.
Still, you might could feel sympathy for him if he had simply stepped up to the plate in a dignified adult manner and taken responsibility. Yup, I screwed up. I don't know what the hell I was thinking, but I'm paying the price and I deserve it. I'm sorry.
Of course he couldn't do that. Oh, no, he was determined to maximize the pleasure of all those who hate him. First of all, he insisted that he didn't do the things he's accused of. Right, buddy. You're lucky not to be sharing a cell with Jim Trafficant- though that may yet be coming. He was so sleazy that even the Democrats of the senate ethics committee felt it necessary to officially slap his hand, and you KNOW they didn't want to do that. Why keep lying now; do you think there's anyone at all who believes you?
Then he has to explain about all the wonderful things he's done. He'll take great comfort that old people will get some or other free crap from him. Tonight there'll be some woman fleeing her battering husband who'll go stay in the women's shelter that he built. Shut up assmunch. You didn't build anything. That would be some union bricklayers and electricians who built it. Nor did YOU pay for it. That distinction belongs to the taxpayers.
Then he's crying and putting up like the drama queen that he is. "When did we get to be so unforgiving?" Boo, hoo, hoo. Besides, you didn't do the things you're accused of, remember? Generally, the first step to seeking forgiveness is to confess and accept responsibility for your actions. Geez, step up and take your medicine like a man. The whole public display of self-pity caused my father to declare that Bill Clinton was just an amateur compared to the Torch.
Torricelli really stopped the show, though, with a childhood story that should go down in the annals [or anals] of infamy with Nixon's Checkers comments. In some early fit of morbidity, according to his story, five year old Bob Torricelli made out his will. He wanted to leave his worldly possessions to the the country and the Marine Corps because that's where his daddy served.
Somebody SLAP me! I, for one, was just hysterical with laughter. My old man got it right. He really did make Bill Clinton look like an amateur. The story sounds about as likely as Al Gore's mama singing him to sleep with strains of "Look for the Union Label." If it's really TRUE, that just makes it worse.
This one's going to be tough for the Simpsons to top. Even Mayor Quimby couldn't touch this.
