The Lonely Goatherd Blog And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats - Matthew 25:32
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July 13, 2005
Gee, Adam Goldberg sure LOOKS like a nice Jewish boy We drew some particularly distinguished company to Blogcritics recently, though perhaps not in the way we'd most prefer.
Anyway, one of our newer Blogcritics wrote a somewhat harshly critical description of the appearance of actor Adam Goldberg on a television show. She described what sounded like some schmuckish behavior.
She went too far, perhaps, in saying that it looked like a dopehead meltdown. That fairly scurilous implication was arguably not sufficiently backed up by facts.
Indeed, Mr Goldberg himself actually showed up cyberwise at Blogcritics to defend himself. The erratic behavior was just show biz "schtick", not dope.
Then he and partner in crime Christina Ricci threatened us. [Comment 25] "overt statements of gossip and speculation veiled as fact in headline form is grounds for a lawsuit"
Really? Miss Cerulean was not repeating an unsubstantiated rumor about something that supposedly happened at some private party, but reporting her own observations of a public appearance on a tv show. She reported specific behaviors, and her analysis of those observations. Is it somehow libelous to say that someone acting as she described looked like they were on something? Even Goldberg himself said [comment 19], "I too thought: look at that agro coke fiend."
In any case, Mr Goldberg intimidated administration at Blogcritics with this threat of a lawsuit, which resulted in Miss Cerulean's column being edited to remove any implication of drug use. Indeed, they're so cowed that even my shorter and considerably milder version of this essay was pulled entirely from the site. Not to bust on my own people too harshly, but this capitulation does not constitute our finest hour. As John Turturro said in Secret Window, "You scare too easy."
Actually, I would take Miss Cerulean to have made an offense against drug users, painting them all with the broad brush of acting in a schmuckish out of control manner as she describes. As the cave man says in the tv ads in response to "condescending" tv ads, "That's not cool."
In any case, Miss Cerulean is a bad girl, and has been sent to stand in the corner. Still, in some defense, if your clever showbiz schtick is to act like ie pretend to be an out of control dope fiend, you might forgive someone less sophisticated for missing the subtlety of your performance. Sorry, our bad. I think she's going to have to write like 1,000 times on the blackboard, "I will not engage in unfounded celebrity badmouthing." It's Bart Simpson time. She's got it comin'.
Still, I'm afraid I have to call bullshit on our new celebrity buddy. Specifically, Mr Goldberg objected repeatedly to Miss Cerulean's characterization of him as "a nice Jewish boy." This was supposedly somehow anti-Semitic or racist. Miss Cerulean's own Hebrew heritage gets her no consideration in this regard, even. Adam Goldberg [Comment 19] "As far as comments about being a "nice Jewish boy." I've always found it fascinating how that's an acceptable expression, when let's say, a "nice black boy" probably wouldn't go over so well."
He-brew, please! Now that's bullshit there, buddy. Surely a sophisticated Hebrew gentleman such as yourself could see that there's a huge difference in meaning between those two uses of the word boy. There's a distinct note of oppression used that way toward a black man. It would imply subserviense.
"A nice Jewish boy" however, would be the phrase ringing from the lips of millions of mothers describing what kind of boyfriend or husband they'd like their daughters to bring home.
Goldberg (and Christina Ricci) again [comment 25]:
-"nice Jewish boy" IS yes racist (and your addendum was abusurd: "hey I got a Jewish buddy and oh yeah he's a drug addict!" i.e. "Some of my best friends are black!"
For Christ's sake woman, think about it.
Well, I thought about it, and NO, that's bullshit. It's not derogatory or condescending or hateful. What, she's accusing you of being a gentleman? As Monsieur Goldberg himself put it at Blogcritics, he makes a living playing Jews- and he IS Jewish. "Nice" might be called into question at this point, though, what with intimidating a writer with bogus charges of racism and threats of libel suits. Guess he proved her wrong.
It's silly to call something like this "racism." It trivializes actual racism by watering down the currency of the word with bogus invocations like this. Compare and contrast: When French Jews are advised not to go out in public in readily identifiable ethnic garb, ie yarmukles, for fear of being beaten or killed- THAT is racism. Having a Jewish woman describe you as "a nice Jewish boy" is NOT racist. She is not trying to kill or subjugate you. As Jimmy would say on South Park, I mean, c'mon.
Concluding my statement for the defense at Miss Cerulean's hate crimes trial here, she might perhaps ask for forgiveness for having confused Mr Goldberg's characters with his private personality. I know him primarily as The Hebrew Hammer, probably my second favorite Christmas show- right behind the Grinch, of course.
Take it this way: Perhaps Miss Cerulean and I both have been seduced by his performance as Mordechai Jefferson Carver. The Master Thespian has spun a web of acting genius that has caused people to confuse him for Mordechai, who surely would be described as a nice Jewish boy. Acting! GEEEN-ius!
In case I wasn't clear enough in this point, I'm just saying that if an actor goes on tv acting all crazy, they really don't have any beef if someone out there in TV land happens to notice it and says something. And bogus charges of racism are FAR worse than even a perhaps mistaken charge of being high.
