Archive for the ‘satire’ Category

Palin, Limbaugh and Steyn – The Axis of Evil

Friday, January 21st, 2011

Listen up all you sheeple who believe everything the vast right wing media machine tell you, cause I’m here to give you a little enlightenment about Sarah Palin’s real death panel – the Rush Limbaugh audience. I’m here on behalf of the reality based community to share some of our special knowledge that few have figured out and fewer have had the courage to believe regarding culpability for Loughner and the recent Tucson shooting spree. If you’d open your eyes, you can see that in plain fact Sarah Palin orchestrated this massacre on purpose.

A lot of good people naturally suspect her influence, but none of them seem to be willing to step up to the plate and declare the truth. But perhaps Rep Clyburn, Paul Krugman, Chris Matthews and others truly don’t get it. They recognize that Sarah Palin obviously represents naked, wicked hatred and rightly condemn her for creating this horrific climate of hate that engulfs the nation. But a climate didn’t shoot those people. What, a cloud picked up a gun and shot the place up? Lightning bolts started targeting civilians? That’s just crazy talk.

No, Palin is far more insidious than that. Just by what she says openly, she’s got people practically ready to burn down the nation or even worse, such as busting up the public employee unions. Perhaps worst of all, we’ve had to watch the spawn of the devil’s own strumpet nearly win Dancing With The Stars and see the evil matron get her own reality show. Is there any real doubt that someone that wicked would have her opponents killed as part of her slow rolling coup?

It is obvious that, like Goebbels, Sarah Palin has decisively won the first and hardest part: control of the mass media. Be not mistaken, if Sarah Palin tweets that she just let a stinky, it will be front page news, and within mere minutes conservative harlots across the nation will be tooting and tweeting in harmony.

So it’s on to the next step: liquidating her enemies. Any normal, progressive American could be targeted by these remorseless killers of poor innocent mooses. Obviously though she would most highly target Democrat congressmen. You can see that clearly Sarah Palin wants all Democrat congressmen dead by any means necessary.
anti-Sarah Palin poster
But obviously she can’t just come out and say that. She doesn’t yet have quite the power to just brazenly call for the assassination of the opposition. The maps and the targets might be a little clue, but every high school football team in the country is trying to blitz the other team and so on. No, it takes more than that to get even a Dale Gribble Republican to go on a shooting spree.

That’s where Rush Limbaugh comes in. He has skills and power with media far beyond even Joseph Goebbels. Even Goebbels couldn’t get 20 million people a week to voluntarily tune in to listen to him like Limbaugh does year after year, decade after decade. It is easily within Rush Limbaugh’s skill and power to use most of a thousand hours a year of broadcast time to wash and indeed dry clean the brains of his mind numbed robots. Prepare the willing legions for 20+ years for go time.

From there, it’s easy to see how Limbaugh would use some simple, innocuous Go Code like “jiggle me timbers” or “Why don’t you play a game of solitaire?” It could be anything really.

Most likely it’s something to do with golf. Note how Limbaugh has a highly promoted golf mini-series on television. Golf has been long known to respond to an especially wicked white man gene, a quirk of the engineering from the evil genius who engineered white men. [Tiger: Give up the white devil’s game of false consciousness and take up a spiritual sport appropriate for a True Black Man, perhaps basketball or shooting dice.] After years of liminal and subliminal training, Rush most likely has it keyed to the name of his golf show, or more subtly the name of some golf course or tournament. Now they hear Rush Limbaugh say “Augusta Nationals” and his dittoheads hear “Shoot a Democrat Congressman.”

Note how he had the war criminal Mark Steyn “guest hosting” for him over the holidays just before the Tucson shooting. This is where the larger conspiracy of Palin stoking the military-industrial complex reveals itself to the light of day. Mark Steyn narrowly escaped the Noose of Justice in Canada last year after years of writing stuff that makes Muslims attack us. Here in America though, we’re supposed to have freedom of religion. That means that you don’t have any right to oppress people by making fun of their religion or saying things they don’t like.

This isn’t anything deeply subliminal or sophisticated here. Steyn just openly says things that he knows will provoke our poor, oppressed Muslim brethren. He mercilessly mocks the Religion of Peace in print and now on the airwaves worse (ie “better”) than about anyone else going. A week or two of putting Steyn directly on the mainline at the EIB Network with his pointed religious bigotry can only serve to amplify his reach and bring world tensions to a boil.

Isn’t the strategy obvious by now? Constant stoking of the fires of anti-Islamic hatred are brought to the front burner by The Cook, ready to field dress the Muslims like they were no more than so many mooses. Mark Steyn comes in just like Hitler, using his words to make these poor people go on a killing spree. Considering the provocation of the likes of Steyn, these poor people have shown great restraint in not having a major retaliatory attack in the three weeks since his hosting stint over Christmas 2010. But you know there’s only so long you can expect poor people to put up with this disrespect before they have little choice but to restore their honor with a great attack.

But there are wheels within wheels. In the meantime, Rush is back to work preparing to orchestrate the response. Send the signal to kill Democrats. This serves the purpose not just of eliminating the competition and the roadblocks to the ultimate retaliatory massacre of Muslims that She’s envisioning, but of putting the public mood to a perfect boil to obliterate the servants of Allah when the Steyn Plan plays out. Really, Mark Steyn is just like Charles Manson trying to instigate his desired race war with the Helter Skelter plan.

The beauty of her plan is that Palin ends up so far above the fray that she leaves no fingerprints at Tucson. Palin and Limbaugh don’t have to get their hands dirty. They light the fuse and walk away. Neither Limbaugh nor Palin needed to be directly involved. That’s your proof right there: there is NO proof whatsoever that either one of them ever talked to Loughner. That just what you’d expect if they were guilty: a coverup.

The evil genius of the plan is that it isn’t necessary for them to get any particular congressman. Killing any old Democrat congressman would do, and the more the merrier from their perspective. The idea is similar to how Sarah Palin’s role model Osama Bin Laden can sit back in his cave incommunicado while his minions do his murders of their own volition, now that he’s shown them how.

Do not be misled by the obviously ludicrous claims that this Loughner didn’t listen to talk radio or pay attention to politics. It might have been theoretically possible that he didn’t listen to Limbaugh. But how is a sentient human being in America 2011 NOT hearing every intricate detail of the Palin saga? Tell me how you escape that. I’d sincerely like to know. Between the tweeting, facebooking, tv shows, newspaper stories and the secret microwave messages from the sheriff’s office, it’s a wonder anyone can get any sleep, especially people with extensive dental fillings who are out of their meds. Anybody that tells you that they are not hearing Palin’s messages 24/7 is either lying or delusional.

Being the purveyor of important arcane knowledge is very tiring. I just wish that the sheriff would turn down the volume some at night so I can rest.