Season 5, Episode 10 "Of Mice and Lem"  

Air date:  3-14-06

Whoo doggies, but the fur was flying in the Barn this week.  For one thing, Claudette is in as the new captain.  They set this up and knocked it down two seasons ago, and left it dormant.  Nice sharp changeup. 

But let's start with the denouement of the Kern Little storyline.  This guy is OG to The Shield, going all the way back to the first season.  After a couple of years absence, he shows up and gets killed after two scenes.  Consider it a sign of the tightness and compactness of the show that the final payoff of such an established character merits maybe five minutes of screen time.

But they didn't waste him.  This part particularly impressed me with how it played out after having watched it.  Actually, it got a bit confusing at the warehouse, and there are still one or two critical details that I didn't quite get after two viewings.

Thinking it through later though, the Kern story seems particularly dramatically satisfying.  It was quite the tragic end for the 1-9er celebrity.  His rap career fell through, and he was back in colors.  But then as he told Vic, he'd never really left them.  Considering what an unsympathetic character Kern had been at the height of his success a couple of years back, it was rewarding to see Vic and Shane ridiculing him.  "MC Has-Been" was particularly effective.

So Vic and the Strike Team find themselves doing Antwon a favor (under extreme duress) by aiding his former big shot protege Kern to supposedly rob back some loot from a police warehouse.  This was arguably way the worst thing the Strike Team has done in a couple of years.  But again, this is on Kavanaugh, as far as I'm concerned.  He callously and knowingly put absolutely Lem's life in jeopardy.  This wasn't Vic being greedy, it's absolute physical survival.  What exactly would have been his better option than trying to appease Antwon?

So they're watching Kern's boys ripping off the warehouse, and the poor guard who's been pleading for his life is bluntly assassinated.  Then Kern's boy Moses just absolutely blasts away on him. Bang, bang!  Dead meat.

Vic figures it out quickly and breaks it right down.  The beauty of this comes in the exact logic and details of the assassination.  He wasn't just struck down in random gunfire over a drug deal.  He was a rival to Antwon from the old days come back into play.  Being in a jail cell makes Kern a re-emerging threat to his continuing status as gang head.  

Thus, he was set up for assassination.  He was brought into confidence, and then killed to look like in the line of duty, as if the security guard had shot him.  Antwon not only doesn't get internal recriminations, but the 1-9ers get another shot of street credibility from their celebrity, who died walking the walk like a true G.

Really, it ends up being a classic case study in the continuing evil Machiavellian genius of Antwon Mitchell.  It was cold, and a brilliant move.  But they didn't have some extended scene milking the setup.  Rather, Vic explained all this treachery in maybe 30 seconds, and they're ready to move on- after giving Moses a particularly vicious beat down in their frustration over having been sucked into being involved with the murder of an innocent brother officer.

They slow down just enough for the quietly gut wrenching finale.  Having sent Moses packing, they find that Kern is still alive and at least half-conscious.  He's bleeding, and barely able to say as much as "Help me."  What to do?

They did the only thing they reasonably could do under the circumstances- but they hesitated and fretted about it more than I would have.  With Lem's survival in prison at stake, and figuring Kern for a goner, they just walked away and let him bleed out.  "Kern Little is dead, but we can still save Lem."

It was a particularly brutal but just moment, watching Kern left helpless and bleeding on the ground next to the cop he'd killed- and knowing that he was dying.  Hopefully, he was had enough fleeting consciousness left to realize that this is how he would be remembered.  How the mighty have fallen.

The glory hole storyline started out previously as a quasi-comic line, but it got a lot more serious tonight.  The guy has gone from pesky mouse traps to nasty things with serrated teeth that as much as absolutely tore one guy's dick completely off.  Officer Tina had to be the one retrieving it.  As with Julien's sperm bank story a couple of seasons back, this was something that sounds like an obvious setup for comedy- which the writers wisely avoid.  Other than one minor bon mot from Dutch, the bloody awfulness naturally squelched the funny.

Most of all, this set up the best showcase for Julien in the whole season.  This was a beautiful lonely walk for Julien.  It's all internal. No one says even one word, not one sideways glance.  If you didn't know that everyone in the Barn knows about his history- or if you're a new viewer just tuning in- you wouldn't think anyone knew.  

But here's this case based on not just gay issues, but gays engaging in exactly the most shameful, disgusting type of indulgence that would hit every shame button in Julien's Christian body.  Watching him face his shame and keep his composure doing it was most impressive character development. 

His early scene with the gay advocacy representative poking around the barn was beautiful, starting with the utterly unselfconscious insensitivity of Captain Billings, hollering across the room for Julien to talk to this guy about the whole glory hole/rat trap thing.  Then the guy's a little pissy with him, and isn't responding well to Julien's careful politeness.  He's got to insist on pointing out Julien's discomfort, and accusing them of not really doing anything.  

Rather than take these important flyers with info about the attacker and head out, he has to mess with Julien just a bit more.  Julien's trying to hold his tongue, but the guy's provoking him to at least a little bit blame the victim.  Julien's getting Biblical about sin, but quickly reigns it back in by noting that the public nature of their glory hole activity does make it specifically illegal.  The dude as much as lays hands on Officer Lowe, which is where he was done making nice.  It was nice watching him play out his own internal conflict, with the gay rep apparently unaware.  

Also, they got a lot of good quiet anguish from Julien just as the observer.  They had only one conscious witness, the guy from a couple shows back with the wife and kids at home.  Julien obviously totally felt this guy's pain at being drug in, and felt apparently at least partly responsible for not having been able to keep his name out of it.  

Eventually the wife figures it out, and Officer Lowe is back with the crew cleaning up the mess.  "She started calling me a 'fag' in front of my kids, so I beat the shit out of her."  What could Julien possibly even think about saying to him?

But then they catch the attacker who's done all this.  They cut to the capture, but apparently the gay rep did in fact help them catch the guy.  Only problem is they've got no good evidence.  They know perfectly well that it's him, but they can't prove it.  Claudette had no psychological leverage on the guy.  Dutch couldn't do anything with him.  Billings is getting ready to have him set loose.

Which is just when Julien rises to the occasion.  He goes into the interrogation room, and faces down his shame.  He unplugs the monitor, and goes to work on the guy.  The guy is of course going on about how wicked and disgusting homosexuals are, and an abomination against God- all things that Julien basically believes.  "I'm a Christian, and they're vermin.

But Julien knows where this guy lives, and he goes right to it.  The attacker is, of course, a thoroughly repressed homosexual.  All this nonsense about how he's supposedly doing God's work is nonsense.  "You gave yourself an excuse to find out what another man's penis felt like."  That's what all this rat traps at the glory holes was about.

By this time, he's got both hands chained to the table, and Julien starts getting all Biblical, and going on about what God would think of people judging in his name.  He compared Jesus' life of perfect truth to this guy and his rat traps.  He's got one of this guy's ugly jagged rat traps set, pushing it near his hand and quoting scripture.  Pretty soon, he's apparently eager to confess his sins.  As Dutch explained it later, "He and Julien reasoned together."

The Dutch and Claudette relationship was the really sad thing tonight.  That was good dramatic material, but it's rough seeing such a rift as tonight.  Claudette was really upset that the department found out about her lupus.  She blamed Dutch, figuring that he told them.  She's going off on him about it, weaving a dark (but not unrealistic) fantasia about him telling little Miss Wet Dream Tina of her affliction to impress her with his insider knowledge.

That she might have thought such a thing was understandable, but she absolutely dismissed his plain denial.  No way did I tell anyone about the lupus.  By the time he figured out and explained to her later just how Billings in fact found out, the damage between the partners was done.  

Dutch isn't just being difficult, or refusing to accept an apology.  "You can't unring that bell. You don't trust me"  She chose to believe the worst of him, not just that he revealed her medical secret, but that he was directly lying to her when confronted.  "I'm sorry" can't make that un-happen.  Telling her that her mistrustful nature would be an asset to her as the new captain only re-emphasized the new chasm of alienation.

Should have seen the Vic and Sadie thing coming down the block.  Kavanaugh's ex-wife with all their psychodrama, and her abandonment issues, of course she'd throw herself directly at Vic for a good hate screw.  That's just the gesture.  

Now, Vic had no idea.  He was just doing a bit of recon, looking for information to use against her ex.  He didn't see it coming either.  It was cute seeing Vic resist for a moment- think it through, then re-assess the situation.  Then the one side of his mouth turned up.  Hell, yeah. 

One particularly amusing thing about this situation is that Sadie never did know quite what was going on.  Vic came to her with the lie that he was Kavanaugh's friend, sent to check on her.  "We've been spending a lot of time together because of the job."  Not a lie, exactly. "Just like him to send somebody else over to carry my emotional baggage."   I don't know if Vic being her ex's enemy rather than his friend would have made her less likely to give it up, or more.  Vic obviously wasn't going to bother correcting her.  But by the time Kavanaugh confronts her with it, he's apparently just too absolutely dumbfounded to even try to explain.

Right there was really were Vic beat the bastard.  Vic throws it on him at just the right moment, explaining how he's lost his leverage to get at him, and also that "Your ex-wife's pussy tastes like sweet butter."   It may strike you as a childish gesture, but it rings true.  From this point on, Kavanaugh is pretty much Vic's bitch.

But then it gets far worse for him when he shows up at Sadie's door.  He's coming on like he's the protector there to save her from the evil predator Vic.  He's got a photo of Vic, like he's a cop looking for a suspect.  "Did he hurt you?"  

"You're the only one who ever hurts me."  Sadie wasn't interested in protecting his feelings, or his illusions of husbandry.  She did not shamefully confess, but proudly proclaimed.  "What did he do?"  "He made me cum.  Twice."  Then she ordered him out of the house.  The lingering look on his face was priceless.

He was even far more done than he knew, though.  The chief of police and the prosecutor had already made a deal with Lem.  In return for pleading guilty to "theft under color of authority" he would get maybe 18 months of actual time, and everything is sealed off and done.  

Meantime, Claudette is having her perhaps second best episode of the season.  Early, she's called aside by Assistant Chief Phillips, questioned about her lupus, and ordered to desk duty pending a police sponsored physical exam.  Now, she's still hobbling around with a cane.  She's sick and six kinds of frustrated with the whole situation.

So Sister Claudette just opens up on Phillips about the problems, and how he and the other higher ups are in such a comfortable little 9 to 5 bliss that they don't even have a clue about the problems in the community, and how utterly ineffective they've been in dealing with them.  She's giving him hell about the "interim jellyfish" they've had as a captain- with interim jellyfish Billings standing right there.  Fine, I'll submit to your physical.

Phillips might have saved himself a load of much deserved whipping from Claudette if he had been at liberty to explain the actual point of the physical.  Late in the show he shows up with the new police chief to offer her the job of captain.  They obviously had in mind giving her an extra careful look over after her recent incident before offering her the big promotion.  She starts to make her demands for assurances of independence, and so on.

Now this is a pretty big and long built toward development in now five seasons of show, but they take a left turn mid scene.  Actually, they've made the announcement and accomplished their immediate dramatic task- then Kavanaugh comes storming in for a big climactic scene. 

Kavanaugh just completely melts down.  He's found out that the department's bailing on him.  They've taken the deal with Lem.  Sending one bad cop to jail sends a message, and gives them an out from the whole Kavanaugh situation which even they know is highly destructive to the police force.  Even Claudette lists him as one of their top problems.  

Kavanaugh has lost his mind, going on again and again about how Vic is "pissing all over us."  He's really struck on the metaphor, and keeps grotesquely fixating on this piss.  "What does it taste like, Chief?"

In his desperate frustration, he's spieling out all of Vic's real and imagined crimes.  He's killed an officer.  He's stealing.  He's protecting drug dealers.  He's beating suspects.

Then for that special moment of shame and craziness, he's telling the chief, the assistant chief (and Claudette watching from the side) about Vic sleeping with his ex-wife.  There's a quick shot of the guys literally turning their eyes away from his shame when he makes this revelation.  

Plus, perhaps a bit lost in the drama, but this is a perfect reflection of his narcissist character in the way he places it.  He lists sleeping with his wife as the climax of the litany of Vic's crimes.  He's not just taking kick backs and murdering cops- he slept with my wife to get back at me!  His petty personal indignity is so important in his mind that he doesn't even have enough perspective to know how that's obviously going to look to the chief.  Poor bastard was practically left talking to himself.  I about half expected to see them leading the guy off in a straitjacket. 

Then there was his scene later with Lem.  He shows up at Lem's place to make nice.  He seems to have at that point accepted that he's been beaten.  He's not trying to get him to do something.  But he marvels at Lem's loyalty and guts.  He hadn't expected Lem to actually plead to anything.  Cops never do that- they always flip.  "Any man would be lucky to have you in his corner."  Then he shakes his hand- which of course Lem was reluctant to accept.

Yet for all that, Kavanaugh's not quite done.  He's got one more little round of wicked righteousness.  He deduces that Vic has made some kind of deal with Antwon to ensure Lem's safety in prison- and makes a big point of wrecking it.  He's going to move on to an IAD investigation of the Longpoke prison where Antwon's at, and he's going to make his life miserable in retaliation for his involvement with Vic. This queers the deal with Vic, and Antwon swears to Vic that he's absolutely going to have Lem killed in whatever California prison facility he goes to.

Which leads to the last turn in that Lem story for the night.  Basically by Vic's decision, it is decided that Lem simply can't report to prison tomorrow morning as scheduled.  He'll flatly be killed.  There's no other choice than for him to go on the lamb while they figure out how to keep him alive.

Pity poor Captain Billings.  He's such a worthless schmuck, but you almost couldn't help but feel sorry for the poor dumb bastard.  He's so stupid- and so tone deaf to how damned stupid he sounds.  Start with just his misunderstandings of lupus.  For one thing, he thought it was some kind of psychological problem.  Then, having watched her tirade against the department and himself, he tries to shrug it off to Assistant Chief Phillips with  "Pretty loopy.  Maybe that's why they call it 'lupus.' "

Still, his quiet defeat was a bit sad.  He's not even going out in some blaze of glory for high principles, like his predecessor Monica Rawling.  He's just being quietly sacked for pure, unadulterated incompetence.  "I didn't fail.  Is that what they're saying?"   His big scene is just him and Claudette in the break room.  Tough day for interim jellyfish.

They got a nice montage at the end with the Smashing Pumpkins classic "Disarm," better known by the hook line "The killer in you is the killer in me."  The biggest part is given to the tearful goodbyes as Vic and Lem leave Shane and Ronnie at the border, with Vic taking Lem off into exile. Claudette is taking over the office that Kavanaugh has been specifically ordered out of, taking down that goddamn bulletin board with the crime scene photos of Crowley.

There was one simple shot with interesting implications, just a few seconds looking down on Dutch enjoying some random chat with Officer Tina.  Seeing that in context, you realize that she's basically been set up as Dutch's de facto new partner- now that his estranged partner is captain.  

Then topping it all off, Danny's having that baby.  They devote just a modest few seconds of the montage to (of course) Julien whipping through traffic with her in labor in the back seat.  

Which then leaves us all set up for next week's big season finale, "Postpartum."




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