"Pencil Neck Geek" - Freddie Blassie's immortal satiric machismo

Posted by Al Barger on June 09, 2003

Freddie Blassie has passed, so perhaps it is safe for the geeks to come out of the closet.

I don't remember seeing Freddie Blassie wrestle, but then I never cared about rassling. What I do remember is his classic record "Pencil Neck Geek". My memories of him involve listening to the Dr. Demento show with the lights out (past my bedtime). Best I can tell, this has been one of the couple of most popular songs in the decades long history of Demento.

I've come to think of professional wrestling as largely a parody or satire of cheap machismo, self-consciously so to a significant extent. "Pencil Neck Geek" pretty well makes the point in just a few minutes, and in a considerably more artistically interesting manner.

If you are one of the unfortunates who have never heard this, it's actually quite a distinctive, well-written song. It is a deliberately paced Western ballad with a strong narrative line. It even has a strong melody, and sharp hooks. The arrangement makes great parody of all the dusty cowboy lore.

Pencil Neck Geek
Freddie Blassie

They say, "these geeks come a dime a dozen."
I'm lookin' for the guy who's supplyin' the dimes.
Its gonna be real hard times for all of these
grit eatin',
scum suckin',
boot lickin',
drop kickin',
gut grindin',
nail bitin',
glue sniffin',
scab pickin',
butt scratchin',
egg hatchin',
sleezy,
smelly,
pepper bellied,
dirty, lousy, rotten, stinkin', freaks.
Nothing but a pencil neck geek

Dr. Demento always played an especially offensively funny extended version which carries on for a couple of minutes after the end of the song. As he's finishing the song, Blassie becomes suspicious of the studio engineer sitting behind the boards. Turns out this engineer is a Pencil Neck, and Freddie proceeds to execute him, with great sound effects of the guy being electrocuted.

This also inspired a pretty good answer record, "Geek's Revenge" by Don Noone.