Team America -Upstaging Alec Baldwin
Alec Baldwin:You can't outact me, boy. Don't even try. [turns to address the audience] Well the truth is that Team America fights for the billion-dollar corporations. They are just as bad as the enemies they... fight. [the audience applauds the speech]
Gary: Oh no we aren't! We're dicks! [everyone falls silent and looks around] We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks! And the Film Actors' Guild!.. are pussies. And Kim Jong Il!.. is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes. Assholes who just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way, but the only thing that can fuck an asshole... is a dick... with some balls.
The problem with dicks is that sometimes they fuck too much, or fuck when it isn't appropriate, and it takes a pussy to show 'em that. But sometimes pussies get so full of shit that they become assholes themselves. Because pussies are only an inch and a half away from assholes. I don't know much in this... crazy, crazy world, but I do know that if you don't let us fuck this asshole, we are gonna have our dicks and our pussies!... all covered in shit. [the audience is stunned for a while, then begins to applaud him]
UPSTAGING ALEC BALDWIN, page 1 2 3 4 5
UPSTAGING ALEC BALDWIN 2 3 4 5
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